Necessary Lies

by Brett Ryan Stewart

/
1.
i was gonna tear down these walls was gonna rise above it all i’ve got guns in these arms was gonna blow ‘em all apart but these arms got too tired, I’ve grown weak and uninspired yet again… there’s a famine on the right and to the left is suicide I’m taking measures taking lives for my family i will provide there is little hope of change the biggest sinners are somehow saints yet again.. Tell me when did all the world become ours to monitor well it seems to me that nowadays, we’re only safe while we’re asleep. the bottom line is never there, it’s always changin’ to fit the plan the power hungry take the stand no answer, just a grin and a stare take the focus off the flame, let ‘em tell ya’ who to blame yet again… Tell me when did all the world become ours to monitor well it seems to me that nowadays, we’re only safe while we’re asleep. politics, politic, politic, I will never understand.
2.
it’s late at nite I’m driving home gaining miles away from you the loneliness is sinking in I’d better pull over it’s coming on again This dark road I do not know follow the taillights hope they lead me home but they pull off and again i’m alone if I can just hang in a few more hours to go ~Hey baby whatcha thinkin’ about , is it me? hangin’ on a string of memory i’m lost, I need your eyes to see it’s 3 am, i’m just halfway in massachusetts, so far from maine my head is drowsy, so i get a room at break of day I’ll come back to you but that won’t work, it never will i’ve gotta be strong and let you fulfill this one thing it’s what you need but once you return i’ll never let you leave. ~Hey baby whatcha thinkin’ about , is it me? hangin’ on a string of memory i’m lost, I need your eyes to see ~(add. chorus, 2nd time) I won’t fake it, i’m not alright i’m fading like the passing city lights i’m reaching out so I don’t cave in
3.
Underneath a pale autumn moon a faded sense of feeling was renewed. but she left me for a promise that had been made long before she hoped I’d understand then closed the door she came here looking for no one at all she had somebody waiting back at home well i cannot say for certain if it was loneliness or love but everything was changing in our touch i’m high on this circumstance i’m finding my way down from this cloud i hope it all makes sense some day the night was calm but wide awake, it seemed a crowded room but all she saw was me. thru the weeks she told me everything and soon i knew for sure that she held was i’d been looking for i’m high on this circumstance i’m finding my way down from this cloud i hope it all makes sense some day hastened by the hours until light our heads were spinning we knew it wasn’t right but we cut loose all the anchors that were pinning our hearts down i said, regret this in the morning, just hold me now
4.
time is up it’s gotta be today all the little pieces of this broken little dream put em in the water and send em down the stream.. the hand that held you down had the weight of summer rain you and your demons are the only ones to blame If it never went away, then you’d never wanna change. ~Don’t you ever ever ever ever let it go. just when you think you’ve got it all under control. Don’t you ever ever ever ever let it go. make a list of your every little flaw write em all down and nail em to the wall one day soon you’re gonna fix em all. soon enough that one day comes around such an inconvenience that it had to happen now don’t bother with it it’ll only bring you down. ~Don’t you ever ever ever ever let it go. just when you think you’ve got it all under control. Don’t you ever ever ever ever let it go. (repeat) ~~I’ve heard enough, knowing it is half the battle I’ve hurt enough, think I’ll drink another bottle if the day should ever come that all of your despair overwhelms your cluttered head and bottlenecks the air find the nearest hole and hide till someone finds you there. ~Don’t you ever ever ever ever let it go. just when you think you’ve got it all under control. Don’t you ever ever ever ever let it go.
5.
Empty room, empty bottle of wine i’ve been broken up what did i get myself into this time you were gone and there was no going back my head was under attack i was drunk i don’t remember the rest if enough of you is left in me I can lose all my uncertainty in a dream i was the needle you were the spoon now the fire lies beneath you and it’s melting the truth Within each rope there are a thousand little threads this one around my throat is wound of all the hurtful things we said I settle in and I relive it endlessly my hands are shaking now as the sweat is pouring off of me if enough of you is left in me I can lose all my uncertainty in a dream i was the needle you were the spoon now the fire lies beneath you and it’s melting the truth melt the truth……
6.
04:15
The days define the way we live Our lives define the way we love Maybe I could’ve bent Maybe I could’ve been A little closer to you closer to you If fate decides who we are Than why do I even try? Maybe I could’ve bent Maybe I could’ve been A little closer to you closer to you
7.
When you’re face to face with elevator musical lines you will find that someone else is so much better designed and now I will not try you, not without a proper reply and the lifeguard is down by the crossroads in town while the unloved ones drown and so you will die with the side kick, always on the ropes by the fight and the lake is dry but everyone is stuck on the ice through the soup kitchen prize and the forecast of lies you were poorly advised but if there are pastures of plenty how can all the fortunate hide what is rightfully mine. it oughta be considered a crime but their money is power, and power doesn’t serve any time but a fistful of green in a wall street wet dream couldn’t wipe your soul clean now i am inclined to remind you oil doesn’t burn the same when it’s tainted and bloody it’s up clogging my vehicle’s veins with the blank shotgun stares, and the front line impaired, are the pawn-pushers scared?
8.
02:47
It’s a friday night I’m out on the town I’m trying to keep my thoughts from bringing me down I’ve got fuel to burn and time to kill so I drive with my eyes closed just for a thrill And I’m amazed at what I can see I thought the world revolved around me but if I disappeared would it matter that much would things still exist and would most of it suck well maybe it’s just me and I’m thinking to much about disappearing… But when I’m alone that’s when it starts and everything falls apart My head gets heavy and so does my heart So I close my eyes drift away thinking of better days without worry and pain And I’m amazed at what I can see I thought the world revolved around me but if I disappeared would it matter that much would things still exist and would most of it suck well maybe it’s just me and I’m thinking to much about disappearing… But how do you know who you are? What does it take to carry on? How do you know where you belong? What does it take to carry on? And I’m amazed at what I can see I thought the world revolved around me but if I disappeared would it matter that much would things still exist and would most of it suck Oh that’s right I’m driving I’d better wake up.
9.
on the first of the darkest of all my days, the winter was gone but the sky still grey, the robins did not sing and you, the closest of all, you stood by my side and fought back the flames to put out the fire, before it burnt me out lines of necessary lies they keep you in disguise they keep you in disguise run, tomorrow’s the day of the marathon everyone’s watching you can’t go on they just wanna see you fall this it’s always the same story once again you said that you’d quit but you can’t say when so dream it all away lines of necessary lies they keep you in disguise they keep you in disguise `like a photo of a child with his young urgent smile i am only holding still for awhile lines of necessary lies they keep you in disguise they keep you in disguise CP1: Forsake truth’s discrepancies. This secret will not wait to be exposed to this, the outcome of your melancholy indecisions. CP2: Is this lying necessary? Can we not lose these disguises?
10.
02:51
sittin on the road to rosedale looking for a higher ground never thought our castles would come crumbling down, down now I won’t cry drifting down the road to rosedale where it’s always sunshine and cheer drummers on the new horizon greet you buy some time and bury this crime ~lay your hands down on me, lay your hands on me I can see the gates of rosedale shining leads me to believe i’m near if only I can lose this sinking feeling I, yes I, might find my way there ~lay your hands down on me, lay your hands on me

about

In between long recording sessions making records with other artists, Brett was chipping away at this one. In his own words, “this album culminates my experiences of heartache and loneliness, my disgust with the current political landscape, and all the human deception that makes life so damn fragile”. Brett played a good amount of the instruments, and brought in friends to fill in the gaps and provide a fresh perspective. The entire recording process spanned about 2 years, with a hiatus or two, and a number of rewrites, re-recordings, relapse, etc…

credits

released April 4, 2007

Written, Produced, and Recorded By:

Brett Ryan Stewart (Rainbows in Grayscale Music 2007)

Mixed by:

Mark Berlin, Chicago, IL,
except "Finding My Way," "Rosedale," "Disappear," and "Needle & Spoon," mixed by Brett Ryan Stewart

Mastered by:

Jim Demain @ Yes Master, Nashville, TN

musicians:

brett ryan stewart: lead and backing vocals on all songs, electric and acoustic guitars on tracks 1-9, piano on track 10, 12-string guitar on track 4, programming on track 9, whirly on track 2, tambourine on track 5,
string arrangement on track 10

alex wadolny: bass on tracks 1, 4, 6, 7, 9, piano on track 6, piccolo on track 1

bruce seaton: drums & percussion on tracks 2, 4, 6, whistle on track 7, glock on track 6, harmony vocals on tracks 2, 4, 6, 9

joe rollins: pedalsteel and bass on track 2,
slide guitar on track 3

randy leago: accordion and hammond on track 4

nate farrar: accordion on track 7

john corrigan: hi-hat on track 7

paul kupfer: heartbeat on track 7

bob brown: drums on track 1

joe killie: viola on track 5

ketti viohl: harmony vocal on track 10

*countermelodies on track 9 written and performed by bruce seaton and Brett Ryan Stewart


photography: Kirsten Talley and Bruce Seaton
art concept: Brett Ryan Stewart and Bruce Seaton
design by Bruce Seaton for Embrionyc Productions

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about

Brett Ryan Stewart Nashville, Tennessee

Brett Ryan Stewart is a Nashville based artist, producer, and studio owner, bending genre lines with lyrics that explore loss, purpose, and hope.

Deemed “A talent worth watching!”, by Performing Songwriter Magazine, his work has appeared on Netflix's Queer Eye, Fox TV, A&E, OWN Sirius Satellite Radio, Heineken,Microsoft, Internet Radio, European National Public Radio.
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